these charming men

one of my best friends is a public school teacher.  tonight he related a tale about how he needed to call a substitute for his next day of class; he needed a day to recover.  teachers need to find a substitute at least twelve hours ahead.  he had just been on a trip during spring break to some sunny spot away from the rainy, cold oregon winter, a place with drinking and dancing and sunny days and adult contemporary nights away from runny noses and hands sticky with jam, and he needed a day to recover, to rest before he went back to school.  but in his fatigue, he forgot to call a substitute.  the next morning, the phone rings.  but it’s not his principal inquiring as to where my friend’s whereabouts.  it’s an automated message letting him know that due to weather, school would be starting late, at ten a.m. that morning, allowing him enough time to beg some substitute to cover for him.

later he says the principal once told him he should quit teaching and become a principle because he’s so good with people.  and he is.  i’m sure the principal said that to him, he make a joke, they laughed, and everything was easy for both of them.

he lives a charmed life.

monday night and my friends are watching rupaul’s drag race at shawn’s house.  he graciously hosts us each week at his house to watch a cadre of men wearing dramatic makeup and dresses run a gauntlet of often demeaning or humiliating challenges.  this week each woman has had to dress as a dog.  each man gathered around the television set is some sort of charming.  these men are designers and architects and entrepreneurs and teachers and professionals.  they’re socially captivating, witty, and handsome.  perhaps one or the other may gone through an awkward period in middle or high school, but that possibility is remote to me, incongruous to the man i know today.  my friends are happy, and can somehow seem to glide through life with a wink and a smile.  life seems to come easy to them.

that week, i got a ride home from my friend and neighbor who is a landscape architect.  he has been taking a series of tests in order to be certified as a landscape architect here in oregon.  on the ride back to our neighborhood in north portland, my friend tells me that he had forgot the date for final registration for a last test he needs to take.  he called the office saying, “i knew i could talk myself out of it, or into it, or whatever,” though apparently he did not even need to scheme.  the office would wait a few days to complete the registration rosters, allowing him time to submit his application.

he’s charming and lucky.

at least that how it sometimes seems to me.  as i write this, i am stuck in a job i do not love, struggling monthly to save money and pay from my apartment, unable to travel or vacation, with little time to spend on myself.  i often suffer from social anxiety; the older i get the more i have found i can control my anxiety, however it never ceases.  and i have a stye in my eye, an infection under the eyelid that is causes it to inflame and droop.  the moments in which i feel lucky do not come frequently and do not last long.

the best luck i’ve known may have been finding such alluring friends.  the group seems cohesive, they seem supportive.  they plan great adventures with each other and attend each other’s events and party together and have coffee together.  so even when i am not the most captivating person, it helps to be around those that are, to bask in the glow of their charm and good fortune.